HAPPY AND FUNNY TIME FOR MY FRIENDS
Thoughts Quips
For Those Who Take Life Toooo Seriously
* The company you keep . . . becomes the character you reap
* In war it does not matter who is right . . . but who is left
* Knowledge is not what the pupil remembers . . . but what he cannot forget
* Talk is cheap . . . unless it involves your ex and her lawyer
* Your cooking is fabulous . . . the smoke alarm even cheers you on
* The only normal people you know . . . are the ones you don't know very well
* I've reached the age where . . . 'happy hour' is a nap
* I sometimes think his only flair . . . is in his nostrils
* But for gravity . . . I'd be a high-flyer
* They say fight fire with fire . . . I got thrown out of the fire brigade
* Three minutes of fame maybe fleeting . . . but obscurity is forever
* Want things to change fast . . . put politicians on minimum wage
* What you do today is important . . . you are exchanging a day of you life for it
* They say love is blind . . . so why is lingerie so popular
* You're in a vehicle going the speed of light . . . what happens when you turn on the headlights
* The one who is talking to you about me today . . . is the one who will be talking to me about you tomorrow
* Life is short . . . smile while you still have teeth
* May all your troubles last only as long as . . . your New Year's resolutions
* Christmas: which will give out first . . . your money or your feet
* My ex is living proof . . . as to how stupid I can be
* Never go to a doctor . . . whose office plants have died
* Mother of a teen ?? . . . well, you now know why some animals eat their young
* Life is uncertain . . . eat dessert first
* The hardest thing to open . . . is a closed mind
* Whatever it is that is eating you . . . it must be suffering horribly
* Thoughts on birth . . . choose the stork
* If I agreed with you . . . we'd both be wrong
* Over the hill . . . is better than under it
* Time is the best healer . . . but . . . it kills all it's students
* Santa Claus has the right idea . . . visit people only once a year
* Natural stupidity is better than . . . artificial intelligence
* Live each day like it's your last . . . one day, you'll get it right
* Ever had amnesia and deja vu at the same time . . . I think I've forgotten this before
* By the time you find greener pastures . . . you r too old to climb the fence.
* Rich men get divorced . . . poor men get an allotment.
* Stealing someone else's words . . . spares the embarrassment of eating your own.
* I don't eat health foods at my age . . . I need all the preservatives I can get.
* It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
* I wish the buck stopped here . . . I could use a few.
* If you think nobody cares . . . try missing a couple of payments.
* An unbreakable toy is useful . . . for breaking other toys.
* Learn from the weather . . . it pays no attention to criticism.
* If all is not lost . . . well, where the heck is everything?
* A good customer . . . never buys on special or gets a discount.
* If quizzes are quizzical . . . what are tests?
* Lead me not into temptation . . . I can find my own way there.
*People took LSD to make the world weird . . . now they take Prozac to make it normal.
*A knight in shining armour can . . . turn out to be a retard in tin foil.
*Effective way to remember the wife's birthday . . . forget it once.
*He loves nature . . . in spite of what it did to him. *A hair on the head . . . is worth two on the brush.
*Why are stairs inside . . . and steps outside?
*I maybe a lonely scitzophrenic . . . but at least we have each other
*LOL or . . . I don't want to talk anymore
*Bad decisions . . . make good stories
*If money is the root of all evil . . . why do churches, temples, mosques e.t.c. keep begging for it
*Experience is something you don't get until . . . just after you need it.
*Some days we are the bloody flies . . . some days we are the windscreen
*Without order nothing can exist . . . without chaos nothing can evolve
*Four out of every three people . . . have trouble with fractions
*If you loose your left arm . . . your right one will be left
*Ever stop to think . . . And forget to start again
*Very funny Scotty . . . now beam up my clothes.
*I wonder how many people . . . own the Earth's core . . . and who's at the bottom of my garden.
*At the end of every party . . . there is always someone crying
*Experience is what you get whenever . . . you don't get what you want
*Smile . . . makes people wonder what you're up to
*If you're going through Hell . . . keep going.
*Today is . . . the tomorrow you thought about yesterday.
*Hell hath no fury like . . . the lawyer of a woman scorned.
*If you have somethink to say, raise your hand . . . and place it over your mouth.
*If you think experts are expensive . . . wait and see what amateurs cost you.
*Afraid of doing too much . . . then you'll always do too little.
*Frustration is when you have ulcers . . . but still aren't a success.
*If the hokie-pokie isn't really what it's all about . . . what then, huh ?
*If you can't be a good example . . . you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
* Behind every successful man is . . . a very surprised woman.
*All the world's a stage . . . I seemed to have missed the rehearsal.
*I read about the evils of drinking . . . so I gave up reading.
*A fool and his money are soon . . . partying.
*Time is the best healer . . . unfortunately, it kills all its patients.
My yakety yak class is over and please go to sleep!!!!
Regards
TONY CHACKO
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Funny + Motivational
Best Funny Train Motivational Video EVER!
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http://www.nidokidos.org/threads/225657
Posted by: usp <usp2k2@gmail.com>
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