Way to recognize a doctor in hospital.....
1. girl with apron pockets full of garbage.. restless, irritable , waddling gate.... shouting on phone... A GYNECOLOGIST
2. steth in neck, hump at back, or sometimes belly try to come out of shirt, silent, tired walk with masked facial appearance..... no response to stimuli to smile... A MEDICINE DOCTOR
3. snoozing on chair... but loud voice... few abuses... dominating personality.. like DON of the hospital, everybody talk to him politely including Dean or Medical superintendent
.. A SURGEON
4. brisk gait, white paste on pant and boots.... loud voice... lots of attitude... talking of self... arrogant, under influence
an ORTHOPEDIC IAN
5. neeras attitude... tired body... always frustrated, response to stimuli... red stetho...
A PEDIATRICIAN
6. Mostly female. ...gossiping...always eating something. ..shouting on someone
ANESTHETIST
7. Calm, neatly dressed, rarely seen by pts, blurring of vision
RADIOLOGIST
8. In dirty White coat, confused, always in hurry, everybody shouting on him/ her including sister/ Mama
:INTERN
9. a cool, calm, polite, smart, soft spoken with always a smile on face. sweet by nature..... DERMATOLOGIST.
...................................................
Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.
The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said,
"So y'all want to be cops, huh?"
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder and pulled out a picture.
He said,
"To be a detective you must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."
So he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective shook his head and said,
"Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds,
pulled it back, and said,
"What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed,
"Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady?
This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said,
"This is probably a waste of time, but...." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying,
"All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture,
and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.
He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said,
"You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts!
How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said,
"Well, Hellooooooooooooo....
With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."
...................................................
Marriage is love.
Love is blind.
Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
What's the difference between divorce and legal separation?
In legal separation, the husband gets time to hide his money!
Hard fact of married life:
Your wife misses you the most when you're partying with your friends!
Some women are so concerned about their husband's happiness
'that they hire a private detective to find out as to who is responsible for it!
Instead of divorce, why isn't there a marriage license that one has to renew every year!
Married men are no more interested in Mid-Day meal (tiffins) sent by their wives. Now they prefer junk food!
...................................................
Relations are like Electric Currents!
Wrong connection will give you Shocks throughout your life..
But the Right ones will Light Up your Life.!!!
...................................................
Alexander the great: "sir What's the
difference between "like" n "love"?
Socrates' answer was a masterpiece:
"When u like a flower, u just pluck it.
But when u love a flower,
u water it daily..!
Similarly when u like the person u makes use of that person but when u love the person, u care for them.
...................................................
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"
...................................................
How does a Professional, wish success to others ?
plumber : may you tap your talents and explore every faucet of yours !!!!
Principal - abide by your principles and you've got it all !
carpenter- may you nail it at the first attempt
Halwai : the Sweet Success b yours !
Accountant: May you get credit for your hardwork!
Astronaut: Reach for the stars!
Philosopher: May your Karma run over your Dogma!
Electrician. May you always be in the circuit
Chartered Accountant - may your Balance Sheet always tally with name and fame !
Editor : May you always make the Headlines Today and enjoy the Times Now...
painter. may your life be filled with colors.
Mountaineer May you scale great heights
dentist....may you always drill gold
...................................................
Dutiful wife ...
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
...............................................................
Lawyer:
Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness:
No.
Lawyer:
Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Lawyer:
Did you check for breathing?
Witness:
No.
Lawyer:
So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness:
No.
Lawyer:
How can you be so sure, Doctor?
?
Witness:
Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Lawyer:
But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
Witness:
yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
...................................................
Santa took his wife and son into to the big city shopping one Saturday. As they approached town, they were astonished by the sky scrapers.
Santa never having been to the big city himself decided to let the wife out at the local mall while he and the son did some sight- seeing. They entered a large building with an enormous lobby.
The son noticed this door on the wall and ask Santa what it was for?
Santa not knowing decided to get closer for better observation. A few
minutes later a old lady with a cane comes over and presses a button
located near the door, the door opens and the old lady enters a small
room. The door proceeds to close and Santa and son stand there amazed as
lights blink over the door when all of a sudden the door opens and a
very beautiful young lady exits.
Astonished, Santa looks at his son while scratching his head, and say's,
"Son, I don't know what just happened, but run fast and fetch your
mother."
..............................................
Pakistan International Airlines Air Hostess
Click here to watch this funny video
http://www.nidokidos.org/threads/211661
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