"Why does my husband constantly create hell for me? He is possessive of me, which makes both our lives miserable. I need to understand his psychology." Complained a woman to a Swamiji. The Swamiji said, 'Just look around; we find the whole world is like a university of understanding. Each incident teaches us something very profound.'
We are in bondage and don't realize it. In order to come out of this, first we should realize that we are in bondage.
The bondage may be due to any of the following:
1. Insecurity
2. Possessiveness
3. Struggle for power
4. Fear
5. Greed
If we understand insecurity closely, we find that insecurity is not a real problem. In fact, our concept of security is the real problem. Insecurity is a form of change. Our insecurity will disappear if we look at change as something to be experienced without our ignorant concept of security.
Another great bondage is that of greed...greed for money, name, fame. People sacrifice happiness for the sake of money, name, fame. Is this not foolish?
Reflect on this anecdote.
There was a belief in an empire that whoever its emperor becomes would go to heaven and inscribe his name on a golden mountain. A man believing this ideology, toiled throughout his life, sacrificed his happiness and became the emperor.
When he died, he went to heaven. The gatekeeper at the doors of heaven was very indifferent. The emperor retorted, 'Don't you know that I am the emperor?'
The gatekeeper replied, 'Many emperors have come here from time immemorial. So what is so great about you?'
The emperor was shocked and asked him to lead him to the golden mountain.
The gatekeeper answered casually, 'go straight and turn right, you will find the way to golden mountain.'
The emperor reached the mountain and tried to inscribe his name on the golden mountain. He found the whole mountain filled with names; he was disappointed not to find a space to inscribe his name. he came back and enquired the gate keeper, 'Where can I find space to inscribe my name?' The gate keeper casually replied, 'Wipe off one of the existing names and inscribe yours.'
In the infinity of time, where do we exist?
Do not identify yourself with negative feelings. Feelings are like clouds which come and go fleetingly; but you are like the space. Do not identify with the clouds; but be centered in the space of consciousness. This process is called detachment. when you are attached to your negative feelings you become a prisoner to them. Attachment creates hell.
Reflect on this anecdote
In the earlier days, there was an interesting technique for catching monkeys. A huge jar with a narrow neck was used. Nuts were dropped in the narrow necked jar, in the presence of a monkey. A monkey trying to grab the nuts from the jar got caught, because its fist clutching the nuts, would get stuck in the narrow necked jar. Only if it dropped the nuts, would its hand be free and easy to remove from the jar. But the monkeys were too attached to drop the nuts and free themselves; hence they were caught.
Are we also attached like this?
Can we experience a sense of wonderment when we see difficult people creating their own world of hell? The experience of wonderment relaxes one's being. First change has to happen within us, only then we can motivate others.
'If you feel good, you will experience that the world is right.
But ignorant people feel that only if the world is right would they feel good!'
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Marriage Advice All Wives Should Know
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