I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in. She said: Cheque books. The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car. What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge. Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal. Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat. Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life! Q: What's the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
