☢ Lightning sometimes shocks people...
because, it just doesn't know how to *conduct itself*...
☢ A prisoner's favourite punctuation mark is the period...
it marks the end of his *sentence*...
☢ A rule of grammar... double negatives are a *no-no*...
☢ Sleeping comes so naturally to me...
I could do it with my *eyes closed*...
☢ Atheists don't solve exponential equations...
because they don't believe in *higher powers*...
☢ It's raining cats and dogs...
well, as long as it doesn't *reindeer*...
☢ I relish the fact that you've *mustard*
the strength to *ketchup* to me...
☢ My new theory on *inertia* doesn't
seem to be gaining *momentum*...
☢ The man who survived mustard gas and
pepper spray is now a *seasoned veteran*...
☢ What did the grape say when it got stepped on... nothing,
but it let out a little *whine*...
☢ If you don't pay your exorcist... do you get *repossessed*...
☢ Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends... but,
what would be the *point*...
☢ I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take
something for my *kleptomania*...
☢ A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is
taken to the kitchens.... a brother is frying chips.
"Are you the friar?" he asks. "No. I'm the *chip monk*" he replies...
☢ Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring...
the doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've *dyed* a little inside...
☢ What's the definition of a will... it's a *dead giveaway*...
☢ Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighbourhood and
one of them was *a-salted*...
For the *PUNNY* people....!!!!
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How to Lose Weight Easily: 7 Simple Steps to Loosing Weight
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http://www.nidokidos.org/threads/11095