Most of our generation of 60++ were
HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.
>
1.My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, go outside and do it. I've just finished cleaning."
2.My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3.My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't fix it up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4.My father taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your bloody neck, you're not going to the shops with me." (or: Don't come to me crying if you fall off that swing and break your neck.).
6.My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're involved in an accident."
7.My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8.My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."
9.My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10.My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You can just sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11.My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"Looks like a dam tornado has been through your bedroom"
12.My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate"
13.My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
14.My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15.My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have parents like you do."
16.My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17.My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when he gets home!"
18.My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19.My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your jumper on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20.My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me for sympathy."
21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat all of your dinner, you'll never grow up."
22.My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23.My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. You must have been born in a barn?" (or: born in a tent).
24.My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand".
25.My father taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
This should only be sent to the 'over 60' crowd because the younger ones will not believe we truly were told these "EXACT" words by our parents…
