Saturday, April 16, 2016

[nidokidos] Kulula Airways!

 

Kulula is a low-cost  South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously. Check out  their new livery!

 

And get a kick out of the  comments at the end of the photos. Notice the labeling on the  planes.












WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY  INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR  HUMOUR:

 

On a Kulula  flight,  (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers  were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant  announced,
"People, people, we're not picking out  furniture here, find a seat and get in it!" 
---o0o---
On another  flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew,  the pilot said,
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached  cruising nkgitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for  your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight  attendants."
----o0o--
On landing,  the stewardess said,
"Please be sure to take all of your  belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's  something we'd like to have."
----o0o---
"There may be 50  ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4  ways out of this airplane."
---o0o---  

"Thank you for flying  Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as  we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
---o0o--- 
As the plane  landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport,  a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
"Whoa, big fella.  WHOA!"
---o0o--
After a particularly  rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a  flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the  overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as heck  everything has shifted."
---o0o---
>From a Kulula  employee:
"Welcome aboard Kulula  271 to Port Elizabeth. To  operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull  tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know  how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public  unsupervised."
---o0o--- 
 

"In the event of a  sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend  from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your  face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask  before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one  small child, pick your favourite." 
---o0o---
"Weather at our  destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds,  but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and  remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula  Airlines."
----o0o---
"Your seat  cushions can be used for flotation; and in the  event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them  with our compliments."
---o0o---
"As you exit the  plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything  left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please  do not leave children or spouses."
---o0o--- 
And from the  pilot during his welcome message: 
"Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of  the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them  are on this flight!"
---o0o—
Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town :  The flight attendant came on the intercom and said,
"That  was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you  it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the  flight attendant's fault, it was the asphnkg." 
---o0o—
Overheard on a Kulula  flight into Cape Town, on a particularly windy and  bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it.  After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, 
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please  remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis  what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
---o0o— 
Another flight  attendant's comment on a less than perfect  landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces  us to the terminal."
---o0o—
An airline pilot  wrote that on this particular flight he had  hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy  which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers  exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline". He said  that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the  passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.  Finally everyone had got off except for a little old lady walking with a  cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" 
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" 
The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot  down?"

 

 

 

Funny Kulula Airline safty instruction

kulula.com, sometimes simply known as kulula, is a South African no-frills airline, operating on major domestic routes from OR Tambo International Airport and Lanseria International Airport, both just outside Johannesburg.

Click here to watch this video

http://www.nidokidos.org/threads/250051

 

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